Jonathan Kleier
In a general sense, your (Samantha) descriptions are pretty accurate. However, if you look back to the earlier seasons and get into specifics, Carmella was not blind or nilly to Tony at first. In Season 1 there's a sequence where the Family gets word that the FBI of an upcoming FBI raid. Tony, with the explicit help of Carmela, transport guns, large large guns from a hidden door in their house. Tony tells her he needs to hide all her jewelry also, cause since it's stolen and he can't provide receipts, the govt. will confiscate. Carmella understands. Then Tony asks for her engagement ring... this is where Carm draws the line. Shocked, she asks if he stole something so important as their engagement ring! Tony, of course, did steal it, but he just let's it go and Carm keeps the ring. This is the first season.
I would argue that Carmela's growing distaste for Tony had less to do with Tony, than it had to do with her falling in love with Furio. When the Russian goomba calls Carm (season 4 finale) and explains that she'd been fucking tony, Carmela's reaction had more to do with her depression at Furio's disappearance.
Throughout season 5 she was outsmarted by Tony all the way through. Tony strategically consulted every good divorce lawyer thus leaving them unable to represent Carmela. The one lawyer who could take the case dropped her when he realized who she was. Carmela's options in life were none existent. Even AJ hated her and wanted to live with Tony.
Melfi once said to Tony, "She might leave you, but you'll never leave her." And Melfi is correct. Tony is a strict traditionalist with these matters.
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