Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Why this Charade Exists

I'm Not Crazy. Adam Salm, future DDS, is... He's my ghostwriter. Anyone one offended, it was him. I'm a nice guy. So here's how this game came to be:

Many months ago, I googled my name, you know, to see what's out there. There wasn't much. In the top ten search results, only one of them was me. Well, apparently I owed a collection agency $10's and they decided to pursue a way to get that 10, though, I wonder why they neglected to just contact me. I mean, I contacted them which I thought the courteous thing to do. I only wish that this had been a legitimate company, oh well that could act in good faith; but they refused.

These are the things that can cause much unwanted effects. If I'm sending my resume to a few companies, I presume an obligatory googling of names. This $10 nightmare could kill me. If your hiring, what does this debt signal? Responsibility????

I was scared. So, I made a note to self: Get this thing off of Google and do it now with swift and decisive swordsmanlike movement. Rhis is not simple. I mean, Google isn't known as a company that's easy to get a phone call into. I could politely ask Google to help me, sure, but pragmatism is important.

So I took my own action. I'm on a mission they say is impossible, but once I swing my sword it's all choppable. Light Bulb... I know!

#2 Well The Sopranos final season was just underway and let's just say that the show is familiar to me. Or is it me who's familiar with the show? Yes.

So I wrote and wrote, and as the writing piled up, so too did my name move up the ranks of Google's omniscient Search results. And I wrote more and more and more until that collection agency no longer existed in Google; just my Sopranos blog which rambled on and on, similar to what I'm doing here.

Anyway, future friends, I'm not a leech, I'm a psychotic H.B.O. Stalker, one who has been vindicated. Mission accomp...

Now I control my name for searches (well, to an extent). Damn it feels good to be a gangster.

I hope that all those who contributed had fun, and I hope we were able to provide insight. Thank you to anyone who read and participated, especially my beautiful and lovely sisters, Samantha Kleier Forbes and Sabrina Kleier Morgenstern.

Jonathan Kleier (Ghostwritten by Adam Salm, Clifford's Son)